When Michael J. Fox had his “Nobody-calls-me-a-chicken” freak-out in Back to the Future II, it’s odds-on he didn’t realise that some people — in fact rather a lot of people — are born chickens. Well, to be fair, if they were born in 2005, 1993, 1981, 1969, 1957, 1945 or even earlier, according to our friends north of the border, they were born roosters. Not that Mr. Fox, who is a buffalo, would have known that.
Fortunately for all you chickens (or roosters) out there, 2017 is your year and you are not cowards. Far from it, say the various websites dedicated to the Chinese zodiac. You are observant, hardworking, resourceful, courageous and talented. You are also self-confident. In the West, a part of the world that associates chickens with being headless and inveterate road-crossers, they’ve just got it wrong.
The description of chickens (sorry, roosters) continues with the following attributes.
“Roosters are always active, amusing and popular among the crowd. [They] are talkative, outspoken, frank, open, honest and loyal individuals. They like to be the centre of attention and always appear attractive and beautiful.”
But there are some negatives.
“Roosters expect others to listen to them while they speak, and can become agitated if others don't. Vain and boastful, roosters like to brag about themselves and their accomplishments.”
Your lucky numbers are 5, 7, 8; your lucky colours are gold, brown, brownish-yellow and yellow; your lucky directions are west, southwest, northeast; and at all costs avoid the numbers 1, 3 and 9.
Yeah, Alright. But What About 2017?
But what should non-roosters expect from 2017? It’s got to be more than crowing roosters and feather dusters, right? Well, it is, although everything that is supposed to happen (or not happen) in 2017 is related to the traits of the rooster.
Here are some of the conclusions we unearthed on the website astrologyclub.org.
— If you’re going to do something, then do it perfectly
— Avoid being overly eccentric or original. Stick to the known rather than the unknown
— This a year for diplomacy and the achievement of psychological advantage over an adversary rather than a physical advantage. Force should only be used as a last resort.
— If you’re single, because the rooster is a fertile bird, this is the year to get dating
— This is also a good year for business ventures, which means signing as many contracts as possible. However, family interests should always come first.
— Expect to hear more cutting criticisms of those in public life. Indeed, feathers might well fly as pride gets dented. Nevertheless, all will benefit from the rude awakening.
— Roosters like to flaunt their authority. So, while the rooster is a good administrator and a conscientious overseer of justice, expect all kinds of petty disputes…
— … which means governments around the world will puff up like a rooster, flexing muscles and making threats but won’t follow through unless faced with no other solution. Most nations will be concerned with protecting the homeland; it will be a year when leaders and countrymen take offence over the smallest thing.
So, in a nutshell, if you want to get through the Year of the Chicken intact, best to follow this motto; KISS — keep it simple, stupid — and don’t take offense at provocation. After all, we wouldn’t want to ruffle any feathers.
Now what would Michael J. Fox say to that?